Why (some) people hate motorcyclists.

Have you ever wondered why we motorcyclists seemed to be sneered upon, by all the other motorists on the road? Despite paying our fair share of road tax, we’re hated almost as much as cyclists, and I’ve often wondered why. So I’ve had a really good think about it, and I think I’ve figured it out. This is my best guess as to why (some) people hate motorcyclists.

The green eyed monster

I think it was Shakespeare that said ‘O Beware, my Lord, of jealousy; It is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.’ Sounds like something he would say, doesn’t it? And he’s got a point. Because I’m positive there are a lot of people that look down their noses at us motorcyclists when we nip past them in a queue of traffic, not because they really dislike us, not deep down, but because they are utterly jealous of us. They’re going to be late for work, and we’re not. They might have to sit in that queue of traffic for another hour, we won’t. Maybe they sit in that queue of traffic every morning and every evening. We don’t. I can see why that would make anyone jealous.

I can also see why having a really cool bike parked in the garage would make someone insanely jealous. Perhaps they can’t afford a bike, or choose to spend their money on something else. But that won’t stop some being jealous. And as we all know ‘Jealousy seldom sparketh but distain.’ I think that one might have been The Old Testament. Or I might have just made it up myself, I’m not sure. Anyway, my point is, if someone doesn’t like the fact that you’ve got a motorbike, it’s probably just because they wish they had one themselves.

Silence is golden

According to the gospel of Matthew, Jesus said “Silence is golden.” Or words to that effect. But I don’t think it was meant to be taken absolutely literally, certainly not 2000 years later. Because let’s be fair, when he said it (if he did in the first place) he’d never heard the dulcet tones of Justin Bieber, or the back catalogue of legendary recording artists S Club 7. Back when JC was kicking about, they wouldn’t have had anything decent to listen to, so silence probably was ‘golden’. But get with the times, people. We’re not living in the first century any more, so let’s not go round telling everyone to shush.

Unfortunately though, some people have still got very sensitive ears. Ears which can’t bear the sound of motorcycles. Well, we’re lead to believe they can’t bear it anyway. They can’t bear the sound of a road bike overtaking them with a standard can on (so woe betide anyone with anything saucier). And the sounds of motorcyclists flying round a race circuit is absolute torture to them. I don’t think it’s actually the bikes that are the problem, though. I think, in actual fact, what they don’t like the sound of, is people enjoying themselves. It’s a real shame, but these people obviously lead extremely unhappy lives.

Danger, danger!

For some reason, the sensationalist, fear-mongering mainstream media only ever seem to notice motorcycles when something’s gone wrong. You don’t see stories in ‘normal’ newspapers about bikes unless someone’s been hurt, or a celebrity’s had one nicked at hammer-point.

So you can almost forgive the ignorance of the non-believers. They’ve been brainwashed into thinking motorbikes are horrendously dangerous, and that whomsoever should dare to bestraddle one of these godforsaken contraptions shall be doomed to suffer furious pain and an untimely death. But really, that’s just bollocks.

Because we all know it’s possible to come a cropper and hurt yourself, but for most of us, it doesn’t happen very often. So let us knock the fear-mongering on the head. Because we’re not all hooligans with a death-wish, rebels without a cause on the last train out of Nowhere City. No, were good people. Pillars of the community. And we deserve respect.

Don’t judge me

‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.’ John, chapter 8, versus 3 – 7. In the bible, John was talking about some bird who was playing away. Her husband caught her laying with another man, and was not happy, I’m talking like well annoyed. Anyway, he decided to have her stoned to death, but John wasn’t having any of it. Because the lads that turned up to stone her were a right rabble of dirty bastards.

The point I’m trying to make is that it’s all good and well hating on us motorbike boys and girls, but are you really so perfect yourself? Are you really without sin? Don’t judge motorcyclists for doing something just because you don’t like it. I don’t like mushrooms, but I’m not going to fall out with you if you order them on your pizza. So let us all live and let live (1 Corinthians 7:17). You leave us to ride our motorcycles without looking down your noses at us, and we’ll leave you to eat as many mushrooms as you want. And I hope you enjoy them.

The Rt Revd Michael Booth