Since 1998 the authorities have been handing out ASBOs (Antisocial Behaviour Orders) to scallies and scumbags across the UK. I think they call them... Why antisocial behaviour is our friend in 2022.

Since 1998 the authorities have been handing out ASBOs (Antisocial Behaviour Orders) to scallies and scumbags across the UK. I think they call them ‘Civil Injunctions’ now but essentially it’s the same thing; a punishment for ill behaviour. And whilst I’m sure no member of the vast 44Teeth community even thinks about doing anything antisocial, it’s a good job that some people do. How can that be? Let me tell you.

We all know that motorcycle theft is one of the most heinous crimes known to man. And in the past, not a massive amount has been done to combat it. I’m not blaming anyone in particular for that; I know the constabulary have got their hands full with ‘more important’ things. The fact of the matter is, as most people who’ve had a bike nicked will know, it’s a crime that often gets left at the bottom of the pile.

Or, I should say, it always has been. Because now, thanks to antisocial behaviour, the police are starting to take a bit more notice of bike theft. That’s because a lot of the yobs that are pinching our bikes aren’t content with stashing them away, breaking them up and selling them for parts. Oh no. What they’d rather do is practice their wheelies on them, hoodied-up helmetless, up and down the high street. Or for getaway vehicles when they hold up their local newsagent with a cordless angle grinder, desperate for a copy of Razzle and a quart of cola cubes. And of course it’s dead easy to snatch an old lady’s handbag on the pillion seat of a superbike.

Skulduggery

Obviously that kind of skulduggery mustn’t be condoned. But as dark and dingy as this particular cloud may be, it’s not without its silver lining.

You see, the thing is, whilst the crime of bike theft on its own might have been allowed to fall to the bottom of the pile, when they are using your nicked bike to terrorize the town, all of a sudden the police start to take notice.

And that’s exactly what’s happening in towns and cities, the length and breadth of the country. It’s a shame that it’s taken a bit of yobbish hooliganism for the constabulary to take notice. But the end result might be that our bikes are a little bit safer, all thanks to antisocial behaviour

It’s because of a few reasons. Firstly (and I’m not actually sure this reason counts), they’re imploring us to secure our bikes more effectively. Are they telling us to do that because they don’t want us to go through the turmoil of having a bike nicked. Or is because it’s a pain in the arse for them if it ends up in some joyriding scrotes hands? But the message seems to be something along the lines of ‘if you don’t lock your bike up properly, it’s your fault if it gets nicked’.

Scrotal sack

But really it’s the fact that the scrotes want to go joyriding which is, indirectly, making our bikes safer. Possibly. Police presence in loads of cities has been upped in these crime and joyriding hotspots, which has led to more and more stolen bikes being recovered. Music to my ears.

My hope is that the extra police presence in these areas, and the fact that naughty boys can’t get away with riding these bikes ‘like they stole them’ any more, might make them think twice about nicking them in the first place. Or perhaps that’s wishful thinking.

I certainly won’t be betting my bike on it though; I’ll be keeping it under a very sturdy lock and key.

Boothy

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Steven Parker
3 months ago

I was pretty loose with security until I got my pride and joy stolen from my locked garage. Now my property is locked down tighter than a MAGA man’s mind.

Menso Posthumus Meyjes
Menso Posthumus Meyjes
4 months ago

Yeah, until regular motorcycle riding falls under the interpretation of ASBO’s. Let’s all trust governments to do the right thing here and not indulge such obvious, clearcut nonsense. Riding is a lovely wild and adrenaline charged activity that is in stark contrast to this safe and overregulated world, so I can definitely see police looking down on the average Joe on a literbike.

I do hope bike thieves get their legs chopped off with their own angle grinders though.