Believe it or not, there are some people out there that think wheelies aren’t cool. They see them as pointless, dangerous and nothing but... Oh, you don’t like wheelies?
Yamaha NIKEN wheelie

Believe it or not, there are some people out there that think wheelies aren’t cool. They see them as pointless, dangerous and nothing but a futile attempt to show off. I’d bet my house though, that none of the weapons that hold this viewpoint have ever successfully performed a wheelie, and that they’re only saying it because they can’t pull a minger.

If you’re the kind of person that shakes their head in dismay when they witness a stand-up twelve-o-clocker, that’s fine – you’re entitled to your own opinion. If that is you, though, I feel sorry for you. Whilst you’re sat at your kitchen table, in your corduroys and cardigan, playing solitaire with yourself (because nobody can bare to spend any time with a boring Jeremy Hunt like you), the rest of us are out enjoying ourselves, living life to the full, or at least trying to anyway.

Pulling a wheelie isn’t just about showing off. Yes, I’ll admit that for some, showing off is a big part of it, but for most of us, a wheelie is just as much fun when there’s no one there to see it. Wherever I might be, wherever I might be going, on whatever kind of bike I might be on, if it’s capable of hoisting a fatty, I’ll be trying my best to do exactly that. In fact, I’ll usually try to, even if the bike’s not really capable of it. Don’t get me wrong, lofting one in front of an audience is a great way to massage your ego (if you are any good at it, that is), but it’s not just that.

So what is it all about? Well, I think we can all agree that there is a very particular thrill to riding a motorcycle that’s unparalleled by anything else on the planet (well anything legal, anyway). That thrill is heightened by a factor of about 50 when the front wheel is hoisted off the ground. If hoisting a mono doesn’t make you smile, there’s got to be something wrong with you – in fact I’d seriously suggest seeing a doctor at your earliest possible convenience.

There are probably more than a few members of the constabulary who would deem riding with your front wheel two or three foot off the ground as ‘riding without due care and attention’ or ‘careless riding’ or some such offence, but I take exception to that. I think if you’re pulling gnarly mono, you’re probably concentrating way more on what you’re doing than, say, a car driver might be, when they’re sat listening to Radio Four with their cruise control set to 60mph. I can’t see my argument holding much water in court, alas, it’s my view on the situation and I’m sticking to it.

BMW R 1250 RT Wheelie

Far from being dangerous or reckless, a well-executed wheelie is a thing of beauty. You might even say a work of art. And if you can’t appreciate that, then you need to get a life. Or get laid. Or get something. What could possibly be worse than seeing someone harmlessly enjoying themselves, and then grumbling about it like a sad bastard? Rushing home to download the dashcam footage so you can send it off to the old bill.

No, wheelies are fantastic displays of exemplary motorcycle control and skill, and they should be applauded, appreciated, and most of all enjoyed by anyone lucky enough to bear witness to such spectacular stunt. If you ask me, anyone brave enough to stick it to the establishment and lift the front wheel for the entertainment of others, really ought to be given the recognition they deserve – nothing lifts normal peoples spirits like a wheelie – it’s tantamount to a public service.

So next time you hear someone make a snide comment about someone else doing a wheelie, tell them to jog on. Tell them we’re going to keep doing wheelies, because wheelies are as cool as fuck, and if they don’t get with the program, they’ll be miserable for the rest of their boring lives. Life’s for living, so live a little. If you really don’t want to then whatever, it’s your loss, but keep your nose out of everybody else’s business. We don’t care what you think. Wheelies rule. You don’t.

Boothy

4.7 29 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
5 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Smithers
Smithers
3 months ago

Well I grew up in the 80’s on zingy 2 strokes and if you rode them with vigour a wheelie was inevitable.
I get that with todays heavy and electronically supported safety net bikes that a wheelie is something terrifying; but when a wheelie is a characteristic of the bikes power delivery it feels completely natural and in-fact rewarding.
If you’ve never experienced a 2 stroke coming on the pipe, lifting the front wheel and then the subsequent shake of the head when it touches back down you’ve missed something special.
Likewise when you get a wriggle on with a more modern sports bike and you loft that crest (At Cadwell obviously) a gorgeous floaty mono is your reward for riding the bike to the edge of it dynamic envelope.
Sometimes riders forget that pinning the gas or grabbing a handful of brakes are also moments when you’re riding the bike to the edge of its dynamic envelope but they’re happy to do that, but if the front comes up you’re irresponsible…..
Im now in my 50’s on a 1250 GSA (it could not be heavier or packed with any more safety aids) but when I leave the lights and ride up the hill past Loomies its almost impossible for me not to pop the clutch and gracefully glide by with 3ft of air between the front and the tarmac. Oh happy days 🙂

Jonny Boy
Jonny Boy
3 months ago

Couldn’t agree more, I love’em. Why are there so many boring *unts riding bikes these days? Best wheelie bikes I’ve owned are DRZ-E SM, WRF450 SM, XR400 SM and SV1000 N all top mono machines.

Llewellyn Pavey
3 months ago

Mate. You forgot about the skidz. Wheelies without skidz are like crack without cocaine.

Notincuorduroy
Notincuorduroy
3 months ago

How to ostracise a large percentage of your followers…

Wayne
Wayne
3 months ago

Top wordage.. I wish I could wheelie – but am short in the testicle area. If I see anyone hoisting one up, they get my applause and admiration.