For years, people have been coming up with new ways of sneaking into race meetings to avoid paying the ever-extortionate ticket prices. Quite frankly, motorsport fans in the UK are sick and tired of putting fuel in MSV owner, Jonathon Palmer’s helicopter. But commerce is one of the first bastions of a civilised society, and trying to sneak into an event without paying is tantamount to theft. And theft we cannot condone. So we’ve put this list of cheats together not so you can use them to gain entry to your local BSB meeting FOC, but so you know exactly what to avoid doing. Good luck.
Find a hole in/climb the fence
This is the oldest trick in the book for getting in without paying. People have been doing it since Jesus Christ gave his sermon on the mound. At a big venue, like a race circuit, it’s almost impossible to police the entire perimeter. That’s why hopping the fence is one of the easiest ways to get in. Those that aren’t in a particular rush will quite often just set off walking until they find a gap; there usually is one somewhere. But for the more athletic, climbing over (or even rolling under) shouldn’t be too much of a challenge.
For bigger events, some circuits ship a truckload of Heras (building-site-style) fence panels in. These will turn any venue into an impenetrable fortress. Unless, of course, you’ve got a 19mm spanner with you and you can undo the clips.
Back of the van/boot of the car
If they had cars back when Jesus was kicking around they’d have probably been doing this in his day too. But putting your kids in the boot of the car so you can get them in for free is a trick performed only by the lowest of the low. It is of course less tragic to put a small adult in the boot, but it’s still bad form. And very dangerous. Literally anything could happen to them. Well, not anything, but you know what I mean.
There are a few downsides to this plan. Firstly it only works if they’re taking tickets on the entry to the carpark, rather than the pedestrianised exit. And secondly, if you are going to make it work, you’re still going to have to pay for a ticket for the driver. so you’re not all going to get in without paying. Some you win, some you lose.
The confidence approach
This involves gently persuading the person on the gate that you are a very important person and it’s not worth their job to refuse you entry. There are a few different approaches for this one, but you just need to get them onside. It helps if you can drop a few names to bring your story to life.
Playing the “I need to be in to collect my pass” card often works. Make sure you know what kind of pass you’re supposed to be collecting though, just in case it’s questioned. Pit pass? Team pass? Media pass? Remember though, this will never work for a family of five.
Disguise
Again, this is only really something you can get away with doing on your lonesome. And it takes a lot of effort. The people that tend to make it work are the ones that don’t get too carried away. Keep it simple, stupid. High-vis, security-style clothing will get you in most places. And if you throw a clip-board and a hardhat into the mix you’ll have the freedom of the entire venue. Possibly. You’ll need a cover story ready in case you accosted by the actual security, though. Again, don’t go for anything too elaborate.
Run
If you can do this and get away with it, then fair play; most wouldn’t dare. It’s as simple as it sounds. Just run past the security detail as fast as you possibly can, and don’t stop until they stop chasing you. Whilst they’re unlikely to scramble the police helicopter, with it’s heat seeking cameras, to find you, you might find that every member of the security team will have been informed of your description and are now on high alert. Unless you’ve brought a wig and some dark glasses, you’re probably going to get your collar felt at some stage. Perhaps that just adds to the fun. And if you can mingle into the crowd quick smart, you might be lucky. Although that might be difficult when your puffing and panting after your best Usain Bolt impression.
As I hope you have realised, all of these are very bad ideas. And every time you make one work, someone, somewhere is loosing out. How is Jonathon Palmer supposed to keep paying for his kids Formula 1 drives if we keep sneaking into his tracks? I know he could probably sell a house or two, but that’s not the point. No, do your bit; pay for your tickets. Make motorsport great again.
