Let’s face it, I’m never going to have that sort of money to my name. That’s because as soon as I’ve saved enough cash to buy another bike, that’s exactly what I do. At present, my measly bank balance demands a one-in-one-out policy as far as motorcycle procurement goes, as I’m sure is the case for many. But that doesn’t stop me dreaming. Dreaming of having a bike for all occasions. Because if by some strange quirk of fate my lottery numbers did come up that’s exactly what I would have. Imagine having a bike for every day of the week; that’s when you know you’ve made it in life. Anyway, it got me thinking just how much cash you’d need to fund such a venture. Everyone’s figure will, no doubt be different, but I reckon if someone wrote me a cheque for £100k, I could have my dream garage. This is how I’d spend it.
Monday: Gasgas TXT 300 – £6,500
I don’t want to start the week with anything too manic, so Monday can be a day for trials riding. I expect one of my first dream garage purchases to be something like this Gasgas TXT 300. Granted, it’s a lot of money for a very small bike, and there are plenty of good options in the second hand market… but who’d buy a second hand bike when they’ve got £100k burning a hole in their pocket? A trials bike is one of the perfect ways to get some off road riding in when you don’t have acres of forestry land to explore, or a local MX track. They won’t get anywhere fast, but you will get just about anywhere on your trials bike, and that’s why I‘ve got so much time for them.
Tuesday: BMW R 1250 GS Adventure – £17,000
After Mondays mini-adventure, I imagine I’ll be gagging to get a bit further afield come Tuesday morning. And what better bike to do that on than 2020’s bestselling ‘big bike’ (over 500cc), the GS A. By rights, I’m probably not old enough to own a GS of any description, but I actually don’t care. Because they are fucking brilliant. There is a bloody good reason they sell like hot cakes; it’s because they are one of the most capable bikes in the world. Capable of doing as many miles as you want, as fast as you want, on what ever terrain you feel like. All whilst lugging a week’s worth of pants, socks and camping gear along with you. I reckon my Tuesday bike might be the one that ends up doing the most miles.
Wednesday: Honda CR250R – £3,000
This is the only bike in my dream garage that I haven’t bought brand new and still smelling of the showroom. That’s because Honda stopped making the 250cc two-stroke back in 2007. I know, at this point in the week, I could quite easily afford a brand new four-stroke motocross bike, but I don’t really want one. There’s something about the raw power of a 250 smoker that really grabs you by the balls and makes you feel alive. And to be fair, I’m not so good on an MX bike to really need the extra power or handling prowess of a more modern machine. I’m going to keep it old school with my CR250.
Thursday: BMW M 1000 RR – £30,950
No garage would be complete with out a sportsbike for the odd fast blast out on the road. And I want the best. In fact I want the best of the best. That’s why I’m blowing over £30k on the M 1000 RR. It’s the first M model bike BMW have made, and I’ve not ridden one yet but it sounds like it’s going to be a right weapon. They’ve taken what’s (almost undeniably) the very best sportsbike ever mass produced (the S 1000 RR) and given it a bucketful of extra sauce. It would be the bike that I enjoyed looking at most in my dream garage, and if I ever decide I need my ego massaging, it would be the bike I use to show off down at the local bike café.
Friday: KTM 450 EXE – £9,150
For enduro riding and green-laning, I think I’m most likely to choose something like the 450 EXC. KTM have been absolutely smashing it in the enduro sector for a while now, and everyone seems to get them for green-laning, so it’s a bit of a no brainer. Having an off-road bike that’s road registered means you can go pretty much anywhere you want on it, without needing a van. Some of the best days I have had on bikes have involved getting stuck in the middle of nowhere on an enduro bike. It might sound like a nightmare to some, but it’s an awesome way to explore the countryside. I’ll also probably have to enter a few enduro meetings. Best get some practice in first, though.
Saturday: Husqvarna FS 450 – £9,750
Since I was a nipper, I’ve been desperate to have a go at supermoto, and a couple of years ago I did. And it didn’t disappoint. What a laugh. And because my love for supermoto bikes is still strong, I need one in my dream garage. I could either buy a motocross bike and turn it into an SM bike, which is what everyone used to have to do, or I could buy a Husqvarna FS 450, which is already a ready to race SM machine. You can also get the KTM version, but I’ve already ‘bought’ the KTM EXC, so I thought I’d mix it up a little bit. It’s not easy finding places to ride a supermoto bike in Britain, so I’ll most likely take it over to Spain with me for my annual winter blowout.
Sunday: Kawasaki ZX-10R – £15,800
This is going to be my race bike. I know the ZX-10R might not be the most fashionable road bike, but as a race bike, they take some beating. Granted, I’ll have to spend a few quid on an exhaust system, some suspension, bodywork and maybe some trick electronics, but by my calculations I should have £7,850 left to throw at it. That takes the total value of the race bike to £23,650. With the right rider on, a bike like that would have the potential to clean up at most club meetings. In fact it’d be unlikely to embarrass itself in a BSB superstock race; although I probably can’t say the same for myself!